In Which I Let Hamlet Et Ham

No doubt a great soliloquy, delivered with passion by Branaugh. But I can't help cracking up over the way the camera hesitantly keeps zooming back, like a timid guest trying to escape Hamlet's dinner party.

"All right. Well, Hamlet, thanks for us inviting us for a lovely evening, but we've really got to--"
"What is a man, if his chief good and market of his time be but to sleep and feed?"
"Uh, I don't really know, but I guess philosophic--"
"A beast, no more. Sure, that he made us with such large discourse looking before and after gave us not that..."
"Well, I'm not sure--"
"CAPABILITY and godlike reason to fust in us unused!"
"Oh, I thought you were finished. Like I said--"
"Now whether it be bestial oblivion or some craven scruple of thinking too precisely on the event..."
"Er, which event are we--?"
"A thought which quartered have but one part wisdom and ever three parts coward."
"Thought which...what?"
"I do not KNOW why yet I live to say this thing's to do!"
"Shit. Susan, he's doing it again."
"Sith I have cause, and will, and strength, and means to do it."
"*sigh* Honey, go start the car. I'll be there in a minute."
"Examples gross as earth exhort me."
"Gross as earth? What the hell are you talking about?"
"Witness this army of such mass and charge, led by a delicate and tender prince whose spirit with divine ambition puff'd, makes mouths of the invisible event, exposing what is mortal and unsure to all that fortune, death and danger dare, even for an eggshell!"
"For an eggshell? I don't know that making eggs is that--"
"Rightly to be great is not to stir without argument, but greatly to find quarrel in a straw when honor's at the stake! How stand I, then, that have a father killed, a mother stained, excitements of my reason and my blood, and let all sleep?"
"Uh, this is getting a little weird--"
"While to my shame, I see the imminent death of twenty thousand men that for a fantasy, and trick of fame go to their graves like beds, fight for a plot whereon the numbers cannot try the cause which is not tomb enough and continent, to hide the slain?"
"Yeah, I'm just gonna go now."
"O, from this time forth--"
"Sorry, can't hear you. Bye now!"
"My thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth!"
"I don't know why I let you talk me into this, Susan. He's getting weirder. I don't even want to stop at Dairy Queen anymore, let's just go straight home."